Monday, July 3

My Life With Bugs

Good times, good times, on Mondays, with the occasion of a spider somehow arriving on my head, making me think I had a wisp of hair loose. Yes, that was his intention. That was not a wisp of hair tickling my ear, my friends! He's dead now. Heart, return to normal rhythm. Hand, stop checking head for more spiders. It is highly unlikely another one will visit you so soon. The first spider is most assuredly dead and will not rise again from the floor to greet you from the air as he did just moments ago. Don't bother sorting how long he was there before you knew he was there. Just don't imagine that terror. And even though he fell from the side of your head to your shoulder where you could view his approximately-one-inch-leg-span-and-orange-colored-body-and-his- lack-of-three-inch-long-fangs-ready-to-devour, I am sure he wasn't a malicious sort of creature that would pounce at your face, disappear into your nose and abide with you forever. He's just not like that. At least not anymore. Since he's Dead.

And reader, no need to check your own heads. Really, what is the likelihood that at the moment at which you are pre-ordained to be reading this post would a spider happen to visit your head? Well, if it pleases God to do so...I think that's where I would again appreciate His sense of humor.

3 comments:

Catherine said...

Oh that is so gross! I'm glad you smashed him before he did further damage. Josh got a spider bite last week that made his entire torso and face and arms swell up and made welts all over him!!!!! Spiders are so hard to love, Charlotte notwithstanding!

Tamara said...

You are so funny. You wrote that blog with such creativity and wit. I am not a big fan of spiders myself including the one in the movie. I wouldn't want any Spiderman kissing me. Ick!

Robbie said...

What is your email address??
and why are people afraid of spiders... I understand the fear of snakes....