Tuesday, May 30

:: Shudder ::

A sure-fire way to get me stressed is to let a wasp in my apartment. Watch me scramble to find a magazine, shooing Adam out of the way (I mean, to safety). With the screen door open, I wait for it to go back outside on its own (meanwhile, my gas tank on the grill is shooting out gas and I preferred to have the door closed during that time). Seeing that the wasp is not headed outside, I run into the kitchen, away from the beast. I thought it was chasing me! And it's hot. After that, make me have to read the directions to the Raid spray to make sure I can use it inside. Check. I manage to hit the wasp after it landed on a [sturdy] decorative item on the top shelf. However, Waspie fell behind my TV. Now what? I couldn't just leave it there, hoping it was dead. I had to know. Enter: flashlight and yardstick (thanks, Adam). But how do you adeptly handle a flashlight, yardstick and a can of Raid? One has to go (the Raid, but it was nearby).

I crouched down to look under the TV stand, and the wasp was just sitting there. I nudge it with the yardstick, and it started to fly and bounce around. Where did it go? Hidden wasps are worse than visible wasps, in my opinion. I bravely lean over the TV to get a glimpse of the wasp. It was in firing range. Did I really want to risk getting Raid on the furniture? I had no choice. I aimed and fired, and with great relief, the wasp lay still. Then, with one fell swoop, I crushed it with the yardstick. It was over. I finished the job by putting the wasp in the garbage disposal (with tongs, of course) and gave a satisfying flip to the "on" switch.

In reality, I'm not brave. I'm just overly afraid of bees.


Anonymous said...

Wow, can I ever identify with this scene; however my terror most often comes from spiders. I've armed myself with a can of extremely cheap hairspray; that doesn't seem as toxic as Raid and really stops them in their tracks. My weapon of choice for wasps comes down to grabbing a tall glass and trapping them when they are on window. If I don't think first to have a firm piece of cardboard to slide under the glass opening, then I'm really stuck there for a while until Bob is nearby. I am not a good enough shot to spray them and then hit and hill wasps. Yay Alicia, you are awesome! Love Auntie Chris

Anonymous said...

Yep yep, I TOTALLY feel your pain! I hate bees. One time hiking in Colorado, I fell down a mountainside running from a bee. I got scraped up really badly, and was bleeding, but I didn't get stung. I still think I got the better of two evils on that one.

Beautiful pictures of Oregon!


Anonymous said...

You must get this fear of bees from you father!