Friday, December 23

The Borowitz Report

This recent "editorial" from The Borowitz Report was pretty funny (not really true, but a satire of current events):

WITH SADDAM A NO-SHOW, SADDAM LOOK-ALIKES GO ON TRIAL

Doppelgangers Will Return Credibility to Proceedings, Rumsfeld Says

With Saddam Hussein a no-show at his own trial, the U.S. today found an unorthodox solution to the impasse: the former dictator’s look-alikes.

The look-alikes were fixtures during the regime of the brutal madman, who used them as decoys to frustrate would-be assassins, but since the fall of Saddam they have found employment opportunities few and far between.

“In Baghdad, nobody wants to go to Starbucks and be served by a barrista who looks like Saddam Hussein,” said Saddam Hussein, 57, one of several look-alikes who have been called out of retirement to fill in for the evil defendant. “When my agent called and told me about this trial thing, I was stoked.”

Another look-alike, Saddam Hussein, 43, said that the call to fill in for Saddam at the trial came just in the nick of time: “I swear, last week I was this close to shaving off my moustache.”

At an acting studio in downtown Baghdad, the former Saddams have been rehearsing for the past few days, hoping to get their impersonations of the former dictator up to snuff.

“It’s a lot of waving your fist and looking defiant,” said Saddam Hussein, 61.

In Washington, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld hailed the decision to put Saddam’s look-alikes on trial, telling reporters, “Now the Iraqi people can feel confident that Saddam Hussein, or someone who looks a lot like him, will be brought to justice.”

Elsewhere, President Bush announced a new guest worker program under which illegal immigrants will be allowed to work as scapegoats throughout the 2006 election campaign.

1 comment:

Tamara said...

A Muslim once told me that Jesus didn't die on the cross. Jesus was replaced by Judus on the cross. Does that sound silly or what. Why would people dress up like a dictator on trial! I would still go to starbucks to see the man. I might get a laugh or I might be completely scared. Either way I wouldn't be fixated on a costume. Getting to know people is not all bad. Love you Alicia. Tell my brother I said hi.